Monday, May 10, 2010

Big Boo-Boo

Do you know how many things can cause a big boo-boo? Neither do I, but I can tell you this. It’s a LOT. Just ask Jadon.

He’s been talking a lot lately. You know that old joke about spending the first couple years of a child’s life trying to get them to walk and talk and then spending the rest of the time trying to get them to sit down and shut up? Yeah, that. He has not shut up for approximately the last 3 months, and he’s showing no signs of slowing down now. In fact, every day is filled with more words and hilarious sentences filled with 3-year-old logic.

Logic to Jadon is something like this:

“Hoppers went night-night. Hoppers sleepy. Hoppers need to STAY IN BED.” (Coincidentally done in the same voice that Jason uses when telling Jadon for the 50th time to STAY IN BED.)

or

“Toy break. Jordan break it.” (Logically, if something is broken, it must be his brother’s fault.)

So anyway, back to boo-boos. Did you know that anything and everything can cause a boo-boo? For example:

“It rain. And funder (thunder). Jay-Jay no like funder. Make big boo-boo.” (And the only thing that will help us avoid this big boo-boo is if we remember to plug in the magic rocket ship nightlight, which has powers rivaling any deity you may have heard of. The magic rocket ship can scare away thunder storms, keep him warm at night, and make the loud noises not so scary. And yeah, I know, the ridiculous things we make up in order to barter for sleep from our toddlers!)

or

“Bubba has stick (snake). Stick bite me. No touch stick. Big boo-boo.”

Or

“Daddy spank butt. Big boo-boo.”

Ok, no little dude, there is no boo-boo involved there. As mentioned before, I’m pretty sure you’ve only gotten two little swats—on the diaper—that you could barely feel. But it made that loud boo-boo noise evidently, and that made you think it hurt, even though it didn’t.

Someone in our house is very preoccupied with boo-boos lately, and I’m wondering if we have a closet hypochondriac in our midst. Great. Next, he’s gonna be the kid who wants you to look at some spot on his arm that ‘looks funny.’

He already has invisible boo-boos that must immediately be covered in Band-Aids upon their discovery. And believe me, they are very difficult to discover, especially for the untrained eye—since they are INVISIBLE! Only Jadon knows the exact location and origin of his mystery boo-boos, but if you ask him, they are there. Oh yes, and if you ask the folks at the Band-Aid corporation, they can verify that our purchases have indeed increased exponentially in the last couple of months. Because WOE be unto us if we are confronted with a boo-boo and have no magic adhesive to place over the top of it.

How does one go about buying stock in Band-Aid?

No comments: