Friday, May 14, 2010

It’s the End of the World As We Know It

This morning the world, in all its springtime glory, came to a screeching halt. Well, that might be a little dramatic, but when you are 12 years old and your parents forget to wake you up in time to get ready for school, there may as well be a disaster similar to Chernobyl on the horizon.

The reaction I am talking about was nothing short of, “Holy crap, Marge, build the bomb shelter! The big one is on the way!” That kind of reaction.

And it sort of followed the steps you would logically think would occur if there were such a huge disaster.

Step 1: Disbelief

She had sort of this startled, suspended-in-time look on her face for about 15 seconds as she shook off the remaining fragments of sleep. Then, her eyes dilated completely before popping out of her head entirely as the realization of what had happened finally settled over her.

Step 2: Reaction

When she fully grasped the life-altering mistake we had made, she threw the covers off and bolted straight up in bed, demanding to know, “What time IS IT??” (The tail end of that question was more of a screech, and I swear dogs in the neighborhood starting barking from the high pitch.) And while she was screeching, she was frantically attempting to hand-brush her curly hair into some sort of respectable coif for school. (And I can guaran-darn-tee you that I wasn’t going to be the one to tell her she was having a bad hair day.)

Step 3: Grief

There was moaning, groaning, and pretty much your general sounds of disgruntlement. Then came the stomping and slamming. Her armoire door was closed (loudly) no less than three times, and this was followed by more groaning. I could hear some sort of muted mumbling through the door that sounded sort of like, “ruined my life,” but I didn’t really catch it all, so I can’t quote for certain the entire tirade.

Step 4: Acceptance

“I guess I’ll just have to look like THIS today, because I didn’t have TIME to actually get READY!”

“And while I’m at it, I may as well just STARVE!! because no one thought I needed to get up early enough to eat!”

(Yeah, those were the words that were emphasized, so for clarity, I wanted to make sure anyone reading this would understand just how badly we screwed up her LIFE!! FOREVER!!)

Step 5: I dunno.

Because we left the house as soon as Candice got there. I grabbed my coffee and made a quick exit, and as I blew out of the house, I called over my shoulder, “Have a good day, Micaela!” As you can imagine, I got no response.

1 comment:

Nicole said...

Sounds like the perfect birthday gift would be an alarm clock. :)