Wednesday, June 02, 2010

A Short Essay by Jadon Stahl


All I Really Need to Know…

…I learned when I was three.  For example:

Those little metal paperclip-clamp thingies really hurt when you clamp them to your tongue.  Also, this is not recommended if you have just finished a round of “crying wolf” with your mom, because she will likely refuse to come up the stairs AGAIN to see what the problem is THIS TIME.  And then you will be stuck with the clamp of death on your tongue until you finally scream loudly enough to make your mom think that, dang, maybe some wild animal is gnawing my child's leg off--I should maybe check that out.

The end.

1 comment:

E said...

I just read all your posts on this page, Janelle. THEY'RE FREAKING HILARIOUS! What are you going to do with half a door??!! I also want to thank you for making me pee in my pants. I need some Sponge Bob underpants now... -Elias