Friday, June 18, 2010

The Wild—Survival and Surrender


I have packed my survival kit in anticipation of this evening’s foray into the wilderness.  Not only will I be venturing into certain disaster and mayhem, I will also be required to think quickly and respond with the reflexes of a tiger.  My strength will be tested, as well as my will and my resolve.  I will be venturing into a territory where midget-sized evil lurks in every corner.

Can I do it?  I don’t know, but in honor of moms of preschoolers everywhere, I’m going to give it everything I’ve got.  I will not go down without a fight.

I am not venturing into enemy camps or into a jungle wilderness.  Worse.  We have decided to take our 3-year-olds to the movie theater.  In PUBLIC.

We have studiously and diligently avoided taking our children in public since our two littlest guys came home from Guatemala, and really the only reason for it is that we are afraid.  Very, very afraid.

Our three older children, we could handle.  We could even take them out for an ENTIRE day and pretty much remain in control of the situation.  But now—now is a completely different story.

Now, we have five (OMG, FIVE!) kids to contend with.  And I’ll admit, we are only taking three of them with us tonight, but two of those three have the power of an entire army of sugar-fueled, parent-duping youngsters, complete with a taste for blood.  If they sense one iota of weakness on our part, we are going down in flames.

But we have been told that it’s un-parentlike to lock our kids in the house and never, ever, EVER go anywhere with them.  It’s not that we don’t like them.  We do.  We love them.  But, reference a few paragraphs back when I mentioned the fear.

We are going to see Toy Story 3, and we have chosen this movie simply because both Jadon and Jordan tend to go into a hypnotic trance every time they see Buzz and Woody on TV.  So, I figured if they love them that much, then just imagine how delighted they will be to see them on the BIG screen.  If any movie can hold their attention, it’s Toy Story, so we’re crossing our fingers that the trance begins at the start of the movie and lasts through the rolling credits at the end.

However, if you happen to be at the Lee’s Summit movie theater tonight, and if you happen to see two trembling parents curled into the fetal position and crying underneath a movie seat, it’s probably us.

Oh, and if you happen to see two little brownish-complected boys throwing popcorn and jumping on the seats…yeah, that’s definitely us.

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