Tuesday, March 01, 2011

The Extraterrestrial

Or, How to Scare the Living Bejeezus Out of Mommy



Ok, you know that image in the movie where E.T. was hiding among the stuffed animals?  Well, that little guy was doing a pretty fine job of blending in, and it was a cute little scene meant to endear him to the viewer (I guess).

Anyway, what’s not so cute is a mommy—fresh out of the shower, towel on head—going into a full-blown fit of fear as she realizes that there are eyes—yes, EYES!—staring back at her from behind the laundry basket at 4:30 a.m.  Um, yeah.  Not what I expected to see.

As I was dropping my fuzzy pink flannel pants into the hamper, instead of seeing nothing but endless piles of laundry awaiting the arrival of the Laundry Fairy, I saw something similar to this:


 Sitting silently and peeking at me from between baskets.

Now, imagine if you will, the dance of panic—you know, the little tippy-toe dance that is accompanied by a high-pitched squeal when one is particularly startled.  Stay with me here.  Now imagine the dance of panic, as performed by a slightly dripping, still-sleepy, clad-in-nothing-but-undies mommy.  Not pretty.  Not at all.

Jadon, however, thought it was hilarious.  I’m not sure why he thought the laundry baskets were the best place to hide, but I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that we have enough laundry to actually hide 15 or 20 small Guatemalan children.  If we wanted to.  Which we don’t.  Because that would be WAY too many kids, and we’re all about moderation.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure I suffered a minor heart attack.  And after that little wake-up call, I definitely didn’t need coffee.  Oh yeah, and I’m also pretty sure I taught Jadon some new words this morning.  Poor little guy is going to grow up thinking his mommy has tourette’s syndrome.

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