Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Beary Stinky


You know how it is when you finally get to put your feet up after a long day?  After all the dishes are done and the laundry is sorted and the kids are fed and cleaned and tucked in?

You sink into your favorite comfy spot and settle in for some mindless programming, and you start to let yourself wander from the stress of the day.

It’s at that precise moment, you really, really don’t want to hear something like the following exchange:

“Mo-ooooom!  Mama!  Mom!”

To which you reply, “What, sweetie?” while you are really secretly thinking, holy $@##$, what can I possibly do to cater to you now?

And then you hear the reply:

“Jo-Jo poop on da bear!”

At which point, you look pointedly at your spouse with a look that says, Sweet Baby Jesus, please tell me I must be misunderstanding what he’s saying.

Except you didn’t misunderstand because your lovely hubby seems to have heard the same thing.  What in the name of all that is holy?

Seriously?!

So Jason went on a recon mission to determine if, in fact, one of our children had dropped a giant load on a bear of yet-to-be-determined origin.  And what do you think?

Yessiree, it would not be a typical glamour-filled day in our household if we did not have to make our way through some catastrophe or another.  This time it happened to be poop.  On a bear.

Ok.  You may be asking yourself the same thing I asked myself.  What could possibly run through a 4-year-old’s mind to make him think—at any point in time—that it would be a good idea to let loose and poo on a giant stuffed bear?  Did he not think we would notice?  Did it really seem like a good idea at the time?  Was he abducted by ALIENS who brainwashed him into thinking this was remotely acceptable?!  We may never know the answers to these questions.

I do know this—as Jason finished his recon mission and just as we were about to remove the offending bear, my poor husband managed to plant his foot smack in the middle of a warm puddle of liquid that was on the carpet.  OMG, do we have a new puppy that I’m unaware of?!  WTH?

Needless to say, little Jordan got in a wee bit of trouble.  We firmly explained to him that it was never EVER acceptable to poop on the bear—which I’m pretty sure is a conversation that is not heard in very many households.

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