Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad…Right?


Um, yeah.  So I forgot to send a kid to school.  Worse things have happened in the history of man, right?  It’s not like I forgot to feed anyone.  And it’s not like I left a kid at the grocery store or something.  Oh wait…hang on a sec…let me just get a head count to be sure.  Ok, yeah, we're good.

So, yeah.  I’ll be accepting my Mother of the Year award again this year, and it will go on display right next to all the awards from previous years.  And you know, all this dusting off of awards is starting to get exhausting, what with the huge collection I have accumulated, but (exaggerated sigh), we mothers must do what we must.

Here’s the deal—and if you ask me it’s totally the school’s fault for not having everyone on the same schedule anyway.  The girls started school on time, as scheduled, and without incident.  Well, we did have to go through approximately 27 different outfits, 14 hair-do’s, 7 colors of nail polish, and 4 shoe changes—but those don’t really count as incidents.  The point is this:  I fed them.  I clothed them.  I got them on the bus (the RIGHT bus going to the RIGHT school…yay, me!).  So things were really starting off on a good foot for the school year.

And get this.  I even have a calendar.  Well, actually I have two or three calendars…I can’t really remember (which could be part of the problem).  Anyway, there is a nifty online google calendar, and just to back it up, I have an old-fashioned paper calendar in my purse.  This was my year to be uber-organized!  And I’ve already blown it.

Truth be told, I was probably writing a story or daydreaming or counting lightning bugs or putting hippie braids into one of my girls’ hair, so I’m not really sure how it happened.  But it happened.

We’ve been getting Jordan psyched up for school for like EVER now, and he’s pretty much been daydreaming about seeing Ms. Beth again for the entire summer.  So we kept telling him, “Ok, little dude, Wednesday is the day.  On Wednesday, you get to FINALLY get your new Transformers backpack down and carry it.  On Wednesday, you get to FINALLY take the tags off your new ‘jean-pants’ and Transformers tee shirt and wear them.  On Wednesday, the bus is coming to pick you up!”  Yay, happy, happy Wednesday party at our house.

Except on Tuesday, the school called and asked if Jordan was ok.  Because, you know, he had missed the first two days of school.

What the FREAK?!  Are you kidding me?  My new super-duper organization system did not tell me this!  It was supposed to be on Wednesday, dammit…not Monday!  Well, just crap-tastic.

So, hanging our heads in utter shame, we had to let the school, the teacher, the bus barn…the entire city of Lee’s Summit know that yes, indeed, our child IS fine.  You see, Lee’s Summit, we are just morons, and we decided to give our child a little extra vacay.

Welcome to the view from the bottom.  I have reached a new parenting low.

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