Thursday, October 06, 2011

Why My Sinuses Should Just Eat Shit and Die:

A heartfelt look inside my pain

Seriously, WTF?  Was I not just rejoicing about the beautiful fall weather?  Did I not praise the lovely changing leaves and sing into the briskly blowing wind?  I have been nothing but nice, so I would like to know what I have done to piss off whoever is in charge of my sinuses.

I have waited months for fall to get here.  I have endured heat and humidity.  And heat.  And stuff that’s HOT all summer long.  And when I finally breathe in the cool, refreshing air of autumn, what happens?!

That’s right.  My sinuses go al wonky-ape-shit on me and now my eyeballs are about to pop out of my head, there is a pretty permanent snot flow (like a lava flow, but WAY slimier) running out of my nose, and my ears won’t stop popping.  My throat is also sore, but that could be from my continual cursing about my wretched sinuses.

Also, I’m starting to suspect that I’m breathing like Darth Vader, which is sort of how I tend to sound whenever I forget my inhaler.  You know how when you get in the elevator with the one dude at work who breathes like he just RAN up 12 flights of stairs to get to the pastry cart?  Yeah, I can hear myself wheezing, and I’m pretty sure I sound like that dude, and I don’t even have a donut to show for it.

I’m pretty sure the medicine cabinet at home is devoid of anything other than Cars Band-Aids and gummy vitamins, so I’m going to need to make a quick stop.  Mommy’s going to be having a NyQuil cocktail tonight.  Shaken, not stirred.

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