Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Your Tongue Will Fall Off


We are having a problem with bad words.  No, not me.  The boys.  As in, the little boys.  I have NO idea where they have gotten the idea that it’s ok to curse.   (Stop laughing, you guys.)

I have repeatedly told Jason to watch his language in front of the kids, but does he listen to me?  Nooooo.  And now look.  We have to deal with little juvenile delinquents, and somehow before school is back in session, we have to convince them that certain words are off limits.  (Well, for them anyway.)

Here’s the thing.  And this is going to sound really bad, but it all started with Mine Craft.  (Is that one word or two?  I don’t even know.  As an involved parent, I should probably at least know that much.  Crap.)  Anyway, Jadon is obsessed with Mine Craft, and when I say obsessed, I mean like it-puts-the-lotion-on-its-skin obsessed.  Over-the-top obsessed.  Every conversation we have is about how something is spawned or how something is built or how something is destroyed, but up until recently all that has seemed pretty harmless.

UNTIL.

Until he discovered the Mine Craft tutorials, which also seemed innocent enough until we learned that they were only some punk-ass teenagers talking about their own obsessions with the game and thinking they were WAY cool because they used inappropriate language that I would NEVER (gasp!) use in the presence of my kids.  So we discovered that Jadon had happened upon these tutorials on the computer, and that's about the time his language started to go downhill quickly.

At first I thought the things he was saying were things he had heard from older kids on the bus.  Damned bus.  And some of them could be, but I still suspect the Mine Craft hooligans.

Without going into the grisly details, it became apparent that we needed to have a talk with our little guy (and BAN these horrific tutorials!) about his language.  I very simply told him that his tongue would turn black and fall off if he said any more bad words.  Simple enough.

Jason talked to him more in depth.  “Dude, you need to really be careful and use only nice words.  You can’t say bad words.  Do you understand?”

Jadon nodded solemnly.  “Like fuckin’, right?  I can’t say that?”

And in our speechless moment of horror, we quickly concurred that YEP, indeed, that’s the one we were talking about.  Let’s avoid that one, little dude.

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