Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Teeter-Totter


I’ve never been very good on the teeter-totter.  Mostly because my ass is usually way bigger than the ass of the person on the opposite end, ergo I’m usually sitting on the ground with the other person flying high in the air just waiting to totter.  Nope, no tottering for you.  Go have a cupcake and then we’ll try again.

This brings me to balance.  Apparently this is a problem.  Maybe I’m not the only one, but my dream last night brought this issue to the forefront for me.

You see, I had a dream that I was at dinner with several people, and I kept pouring gravy on my plate—so much gravy that it started seeping off the back side of my plate and oozing toward my dining partner who was sitting across from me.  It was mortifying.  I was so embarrassed that I started trying to discreetly scoop up the gravy with my spoon and place it back onto my plate, which only caused MORE gravy to overflow.  There was really no solution because I had caused a lava flow of gravy, and there was essentially nowhere for it to go.

(And for those of you who may be wondering, I’m almost positive there’s no way to discreetly spoon boatloads of gravy off of the table with no one noticing.  Just sayin’.)

I’m pretty sure this was a sign that I’ve been eating like crap.  I haven’t worked out in a week, HOWEVER my writing has been gaining momentum.  I’ve been inspired, and my fingers have been flying over the keys.  BUT I don’t just want fit fingers, so I’ma gonna need to find some balance and get off my butt somewhere in there, too.

What’s a girl to do?  It’s the teeter-totter syndrome.  I have to find a way to balance all the awesome things going on in my life before I start drinking gravy by the pitcher.  I’m pretty sure that’s what my dream was telling me.

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