There are times I wonder. Did the baby fairy drop Marissa, in all her organized, good-natured, even-tempered glory off on our front porch when I wasn’t looking?
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I’m not the epitome of organized. Or good-natured (especially in traffic or when awakened from a nap). Or even-tempered. Because I totally am.
Maybe we should start again. Sometimes she doesn’t seem a whole lot like me, because, errrr, she’s well, really, really sweet and nice. And it’s not that I’m not…it’s just that…
Ok, this isn’t going well at all.
See the thing is, she’s a GOOD girl. She tells me to use “safe words.” I know, I know (hangs head in shame). But think of all the strength she’s gaining from this. Think of all the things she’s learning. She maybe doesn’t want to yell at people in passing cars who can’t hear her because well, maybe that sort of thing doesn’t work for her.
Anyway, my point is this. She’s awesome, and I’m not exactly sure how it happened. But she’s totally cool and amazing and smart.
She does, however, have a small, ever-so-teensy streak of her mommy running through her. I discovered it yesterday when she confessed that she told her ex-boyfriend (the one who cheated on her at summer camp) that she was going to drop-kick him. (I’m not sure why he cheated on her because that makes him an idiot—and totally drop-kickable.)
Yay! You go, girl. Now, before anyone gets all up in arms and checks into the P.C. Hotel, she’s NOT REALLY GOING TO DROP-KICK ANYONE. And if you are seriously worried about that, you are a weirdo and a freaky-ass-dork-pants with nothing better to do that get all weirded out by a little bit of exaggeration. So, chill it on down a little bit, Sherriff McLockEmUp, and maybe take another milligram or so of your heart meds.
Ok, so back to the story. When she said she might drop-kick little Cheater Pants, I was all like, “Now there’s my girl! That girl DOES have a little bit of her mama in her!”
And NO, I have never drop-kicked anyone either, mainly because it would probably hurt my ankle. Or my foot. Or lots of things, really. BUT I sure as all get-out have said I might, and I have definitely said it with plenty of vigor and 4-letter words thrown in the mix. I have also said plenty of other things I didn’t ever really intend to do.
So, all drop-kicking jokes aside, I’m just saying that maybe the baby fairy didn’t leave her on the front porch after all, swaddled in a blanket of manners and joy and good-natured niceness. And maybe one day, she’ll even say something scandalous like…gasp!...’TURD.’
Or maybe I’m just saying that you can be really, really good and awesome and organized and nice…and you can still find someone totally drop-kickable. And that’s ok.